Mac and I are sitting in the SLC airport right now, waiting for our connection to Tucson. Mac is reading a People Magazine (we just traded so I could use the computer). I always like to buy a People Mag when I'm traveling. I picked up the habit from my sister Aimee. It's the only time I do buy the magazine, and it's fun to immerse myself in pop culture every once in a while. It's amazing what you can learn about people I will never personally know, yet somehow I still care. Like, for example, Mel Gibson, who is getting a divorce. That news made me so sad! And, did you know, that Tori Spelling is NOT aneorxic? Right after she had her latest baby, Dean (her husband) told her she was beautiful. So why would she be aneorexic?
The People Magazine is fun to read, but it's really a distraction from what could take over my mind at any moment and make my vacation less enjoyable, and that is the thought of my three babies with someone else taking care of them for FOUR WHOLE DAYS! Ironically, I really look forward to getting away from the kids at any chance I get. I think it's healthy, rejuvenating, and necessary for my individuality and my marriage to take these "breaks" - until I actually do take these breaks, and then I realize that there really aren't any true breaks from motherhood. That's right - once you become a mother, you can't ever go back. Here I am thinking about my kids, especially my baby, wondering if they'll be good for those watching them, if they'll miss me, if they'll get sad or get hurt feelings, when I should be thinking about where we're going to go out to eat, or if I'll be able to beat Mac in tennis, or something else fun that we'll get to do on this trip that we don't get to do at home.
I'm looking forward to this trip, but I miss my girls. I took this trip to "get away" and relax. I'm sure that this trip will accomplish that, but I'm also sure that it will have a second, unintended consequence: When I return, I'll smile and hold my kids a little longer. I'll be a little nicer, a little more patient, and a little more fun as a mom. At least for a little while. Life has a way of returning to normalcy pretty quickly, but I'll cherish this time away, and the time when I first get back and I am the kind of mom I wish I always could be.
I've never been much of a fan of Justin Timberlake. Not that I disliked him or anything, but I just couldn't name any of his songs, let alone sing the lyrics. No, it wasn't from his music, not even his NSYNC days, that I got to know JT; rather, it was his comedic stuff that got my attention: his SNL skit with Beyonce (hilarious) and his hosting of the ESPY awards (impressive). I've even seen the Punk'd episode where JT thinks the IRS is confiscating all of his possessions for back taxes (very funny). But other than that, I didn't really think a lot about him, so I was more than a little surprised when he became the leading man in a dream of mine the other night.
In this dream, JT saw some home movies of me as a kid and thought there was something promising about me. (The home movie just happened to be the one where our family is reenacting the Nativity scene. I think I was wearing an old bathrobe that was too big for me. Believe me, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!) So he approached me and we hit it off. We went on a fun, casual date that lasted the whole day, and at the end of it, he kissed me. Now, it wasn't a french kiss or even a passionate embrace of any kind, but if I had to rate the kiss on a scale of 1 - 10, it would be an 11. It was a soft, slow, warm, kiss, the kind of kiss that makes you feel a little giddy and light headed and tingly all over. I woke up with my lips still tingling. Wow was all I could think as I lay there in bed next to Mac. And then, Oh yeah - MAC! The man I'm married to. What's he going to think if I tell him I had a dream about kissing JT and really liking it? So as I listened to Mac get out of bed and get ready for work, I decided I would just tell him when he got home from work. I didn't want to spoil his day or anything, especially because he had something really important going on that day, and I would hate to cause any kind of distraction for him. (It never crossed my mind not to tell him about the dream because that would make it seem secretive and wrong, and we all know dreams are freebies - you can do all sorts of naughty stuff in your dreams, but you don't have to repent later.)
So I waited until that night to tell him. And you know what? He just chuckled about it. He didn't even care. I guess we have one of those, you know, OPEN relationships, where we're okay with the other kissing another person, as long as it's in a dream of course, not real life. Although I have to say I'm pretty happy that the woman in Mac's dreams, when she isn't me of course, is faceless. At least that's what he tells me. I have to wonder sometimes if he just tells me that to keep me from feeling hurt or jealous. It kind of reminds me of the time Mac told me that he thought Nicole Kidman was attractive. Suddenly, I didn't like Nicole Kidman anymore, but I would always remind Mac, "Oh, but YOU think she's PRETTY." One day, Mac decided he didn't like Nicole Kidman anymore. She was too trashy, he'd decided. (Good man!) But it does make me wonder if that woman in his dreams ever does have a face. Although if she did, I think I'd be okay with it. After my fling with JT, I can be a little more forgiving.
With three little girls in the house, we do a lot of dancing and singing. Kate's dance moves have really evolved lately, and they are too funny not to share. I'm giving Mac credit for teaching her this stuff, because I'm too embarrassed to admit that she could learn this from me!